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| " Me no understand " , I said to my Mexican friend , Yaneth as we rode along . I took Yaneth ,( who is very limited in English and as for me , I am more than limited in Spanish ), to a town about 40 mins away . We have known each other for at least 6 yrs. but haven't spoken much to each other , mostly smiled and had small word conversations . However , that morning we were going to be together for a few hrs confined in a vehicle going down the road. I wasn't sure how it was going to go , not be able to speak each others language . It went very well . By the time we were almost home , we were laughing at our lack of communication , and having a good time in spite of ...... The day was very refreshing for me , It felt good inside of me . I had gained a friend through signs and yes, wonders ! ..... Sometimes I didn't know what she wanted to say and visa versa . We didn't give up on each other , we tried till we conveyed to each other what we meant , ,.....all except one time , she started rattling off that foreign stuff to me and the more she talked the more confused we both got , and we burst out laughing and she gave a sign language of " O, forget it" , she didn't know what more to say ...and I didn't either . Sometimes that's the way I feel with God's ways . I want so badly to understand what He's trying to tell me , and 'me no understand ." ..... sometimes He speaks one word, and I know what He means , other times He uses lots of words , and 'Me still no understand ". ...... then He keeps probing me and probing me , till He makes me understand what He's trying to say . He sees by the look on my face that I 'got it" this time . How refreshing and encouraging once I figure out what He wants ..... But the times when ' me no understand " at all what He's trying to tell me , frustrate me , cause I so badly want to know what He's saying and I just plum can't figure it out . ...those are the times when He takes another turn in my life and reroutes me , and sometimes those routes are rough , hilly , mountainous, curvy and very treacherous ways , and not fun to be traveling on , But He can get my attention the very best through those times . The thing is , He doesn't give up on me when I can't seem to understand what He means . He keeps trying untill He knows I know . God has a way with His children to get across what He wants . Sometimes we feel His ways are all muffled and there's no way I will ever understand . All at once He says one word, and I catch it and I get all excited and encouraged enough so that I understand more and more what He's saying . I like that...... I especially like when He says , " Peace." or '" go in peace ". or , " Peace I leave with you ." "Thou wilt keep me in perfect peace , if my mind is stayed on Thee , because I trust in Thee ." Is. 26 : 3 by Miriam BOntrager 10-21-09 | | |
| I was working in the kitchen , last wk. one day , when out of the clear blue , a thot as clear as mud , entered my head . It was not a godly thot at all . I didn't even think it .... it was just there . I knew it didn't come from my Jesus ....... here is is ..... " It " asked me very sarcastically , "Do you really think someone ( notice I didn't say Jesus) would actually die on the cross for someone else ? ..How can you believe that ? Someone actually getting all hammered , beaten , mocked , bleeding , killed for YOU ? What make you think it really happened ? " .....it caught me off guard so very unexpectedly that I was stunned .....'where did that come from ?' ..... I let my mind dwell in it about 15 secs. and I thot " yeh why would someone really , truly do that ? How do I know the Bible is really true ? ................ Less than the time it takes to type this , " I cleared my thots and said to myself " of course it's true .... " Who answered all those prayers I have prayed all these yrs ? Who gave me strength when I needed it ? Who helped me up when I thot I could not face another day ? Who filled my days with the Love of God in my heart ? Who was it if it wasn't my Jesus ?? How else could I live all these yrs , and not have the forgiveness and strength of my Jesus , cause , afterall He was the one who died on the cross and shed His own Blood so that I could be free of my sins if I ask Him into my heart . " ..... How else could I have gone through all of what life has offered me these yrs of living and not have HIm to help me ? It's all because He chose to follow the crucifixion plan God had for HIm over 2000 yrs. ago , thus giving each one of us a choice to accept Him into our hearts , and to follow Him and believe in Him each day of our lives ...... and when we fail , we are able to ask Him for forgiveness and by His grace and Blood we are forgiven . We had communion Sunday , and pastor Troy used the song , " Man of Sorrows, what a Name " as his text , verse by verse , ...I have always enjoyed that song , but it became alive once more as we sung the verses ending with ...." Hallelujah , WHAT A Savior !" .... by the time it was overwith , I was overflowing with the assurance and love of Jesus dying on the Cross for me ...... for you ..... each one of us . How absolutely refreshing ! ...I KNOW that my Redeemer liveth ! .... How else can I / we / you live with the daily buffs of life ? ...MY Jesus lives , He's alive , cuz He died so that we/ I / you might live ..... Praise His name ! Accept Him in your heart today if you haven't done so ...if you don't know how , find someone who can help you , or kneel down before Him where ever you are and ask Him to show you .... He will .... by Miriam Bontrager10-6-2009 | | |
| We had more rain through the nite ,but didn't seem like a whole bunch and it has moved out . I hope it doesn't keep the farmers from harvesting today nor tomorrow . God has given us more rain in the last month than we 've had in a long time ....and it's ok . When it kept on raining and raining , and my heart wanted to get upset , I made myself tell God that what He's doing is ok, all I ask is that He takes care of the farmers ....and I am assured He will .... Yest .. I was at our Thurs . morn. Bible Study again and how blessed I was to hear God's Word being expounded ...I looked across the room of 12 ladies and there were at least 6 diff churches represented , yet we serve the same God ..... I am sure we were all blessed in 12 diff ways ...... Our time of sharing in devotional . , then our 4 little prayer groups all in one room ...ah what more could we ask for ? ..... I go home looking forward to the next thurs morn .... we are doing a study on the book of Esther by Beth Moore , and it's awesome how she brings out the Hand of God in a book that doesn't have the word God in it ....Is that like our schools today ? Can't have God in it ,but HIs Hand is still in it ? There's a federal women's prison being built about 30 miles from here and they are already asking for volunteers to train to go in to have various programs , including Bible Study ..... a few ladies and I are getting applications to apply for the training . The prison doesn't open up till May of 2011 ..... my question is , why are they so ready for christianity in prisons , but elsewhere it's not so to be ? A week ago our childen wanted to go out to supper , and I had the privilege of having all 10 grandies here to share our supper . It was so much fun cooking for them and watching them enjoy the food . Our oldest grand dau . Ashley is such a help in the kitchen and I love working with her . She has been a joy to watch grow up . ONce supper was done , each one carried their plate over to the kit. counter and away they went to play , all except faithful Ashley , she helped clean up the kitchen till we were done ... everyone was in the basement having a good time . I went down to be with them and was amazed at what they were playing >>>> hahahaha.... " Bunt softball on their knees "! They had made a " ball field" in the fam. room down there by moving some couch's etc. and had cushions for their bases . A tennis ball , and a plastic bat did the trick . .... they were allowed to only bunt the ball , and had to crawl on their knees around the bases and everyone else was on their knees also ..... a made up game , but it makes moms and memaws happy when played in the house .... I told Lb he needs to come down and watch this game , so we spent an hr or more down there till the knees got too sore to crawl , and they were wore out . Papaw was the ump , not a fair one , hollaring some outs when it wasn't and some safe's when they all knew it wasn't , so they decided to fire him ..... I was the cheerleader !... they didn't fire me ..... it was hilarious to see them, from ages 15 - 8 crawl for the bases . ...I love grands !!!! ..... once done , Earl and his papaw played a game of pingpong and Earl's wish of a longtime came true ...HE BEAT HIS PAPAW !!!! we came upstairs and had just settled down to watch a Ma Kettle movie when the parents came home and the word 'ahhhhhhhhhh' floated through the room ...we weren't done with the eve. yet ..... but there will be more ..... God's peac be with you all today and always ... | | |
| I have to chuckle every time it happens ....... " What all do you want in here'" , Lb asks me as we park in the Walmart parking lot . ......... with a sigh , I dig the long list out of my purse and show him , or then I say " too much to tell you , follow me ! " Yikes , thats dangerous ! ..... I am the world's worst shopping procrastinator , therefore my list gets way too long and the end results aren't good ..... In we go , I tell him whats on my list as we go along , so he can also help look for it , we are both involved in this shopping ...... He puts things in the cart as well as I do ..... sometimes our cart is full , too full , sometimes not . (I like the "sometimes nots" better ) ...... I look over the list once more , I sigh , ..... finally it's time to head to get checked out ...... the cashier doesn't overlook a thing , she checks everything , we have to pay for it , then it's ours . ...but not without a sacrifice on our part .... hurts the billfold for one thing , our mind can't comprehend the total bill , our feet are tired , we walk out of there with " what could we have done without " feeling ? ....... "WHat all do you want in here , echos back to my mind as we unload the groceries into the van . Did LB really want to know what all I wanted ? ... I chuckle at a man't perspective on a grocery list . Does God chuckle at us ? ..... Sometime ago , everytime I listened to the radio , the song that Mark Bishop sings , " THe Secret Place " was playing ...... I finally went online to find the whole song so I could read it , sing it and digest it ...I felt God was trying to tell me something with that song , I mean , after happening so many times I felt God was trying to tell me to sit up and take notice . Then I connected the phrase that LB often asks me before going into the store ..." What all do you want in here "? Believe me , I didn't want to ask God that , as I was afraid He would dig too deep ...know what I mean ? Come on , be honest with yourself .... it's not easy ...... it's scary , it's a place where even I don't want to go ..... After all, it's my secret hiding place . Now I know as well as you , that there are no secret places with God , none at all , He sees it , no matter how deep a hole I dig , and cover it up with the hugest amount of dirt , sand , covered with tons of cement , God still knows it ...what makes me think He doesn't know my heart ? ....... As I read the song , I visualized God asking me to see my 'secret room' and as we walked to the door , I was the one who turned and asked Him " What all do You want in here " ? ....' Did He show me a long list ? No, He just smiled and gently said , Let's go on in " ........ I really wasn't very anxious to show Him what was in that room . Did He really have to look in ? I wasn't in the 'shopping ' mood at all ....... I opened up the door and we slowly walked in ..... He picked up a few things , looked it over real well, then put them back on the shelf .....( I didn't pick anything up , ) soon He was picking up more things and putting them in the cart . I kept looking at some of them , thinking , ' no, thats too great a cost for me to do something with it now . I can't afford to deal with that issue right now .... please put it back down again . " But He didn't ..... the cart kept filling up and soon was time to go through the checkout .....guess who was the Cashier ? ...Yes, it was God , and He carefully looked at each item as it passed by His eye ... What was He thinking ? How well did I do through the checkout ? ......... Is my/our 'shopping cart " full or about empty when we/ you walk out of the storeroom ? ...... what is it full of ? Fruit ...of the Spirit ..... or rotten things that need cleaning out ? Is there a place in your heart . where even you don't go ? We've got some things hidden there that we don't want anyone to know ..... But He's handing us the key , with tears of love on His face , He says , " I want to make you clean , Let Me in your secret place ." Today if you hear God probing you to open the door of that secret room , ... open it up for God and take Him inside with you ..... You'll feel so much better ...... if you need someone to help you through it , find someone ...someone you can trust..... let them walk with you through your secret place ...... it will release you from any bondage you are in and make you a better person . "What all does God want in my secret place ? ...all of it..... by Miriam Bontrager 9-29-09 | | |
| ' NO , no , please don't sit there , thats where I had been sittin just before I got up to go look at something else .... and it's my bench , ok , maybe not MY bench , but I sat on it long enough to warm it up and surely I have an imprint on my skin somewhere from it ! That's claim enough" ....... those thots didn't work". I went with one of my wonderful Dau. in love's to the big , huge city . As we do , we get into the store , and go our own ways . In the days of cell fones , we can easily get ahold of each other when done . I was done before she , checked out and found an empty bench to sit and wait . I don't mind waiting , I love to watch people ,(everyone looks so weird except you and I and sometimes I think you do too !) ...(O, where was I ? I went on a little bunny trail for the moment. ) ...anyway ..... I waited a few mins.... then thot , 'just what if she's waitin elsewhere and I hadn't looked for her , plus I hadn't called her yet ...... I slowly got up from my comfortable bench and mosied down the line ......hoping by now a bench further down the line would be empty . IT wasn't . Well, it was and wasn't . A kinda big person was sittin there , with her big purse bag strung out where she wasn't sitin and that told me , ' No one gets to sit by me " . So I decided to stand by her leaning against the wall ..... not comfy , ..I took a stroll down to the empty bench where I had been . In front of me walked 2 Mex. men , and would you know , they started sittin down on MY empty bench ! The very idea ! Inside of me I was going " no. no. no. you can't do that "... but they did anyway ! ...The likes , the nerve ! ....This time I leaned against my cart and cleaned up my attitude .... they had just as much right to that empty bench as I did ....... sigh ! ..... They jabbered amongst themselves in spanish ........ Me no understand ........ ....... while standing there I thot about the diff languages we speak , English , Spanish , Dutch etc ..... yet one thing All the languages in the world have in common and does more than any words can ever do , is a smile ...... While shopping , as I met people I observed their faces . One lady looked all stressed out , yet she took time to smile , another one smiled ,but it had a quick return to the frowny face , some showed happiness on their faces , some looked like they were just living cause they were breathing ..... How do I response to others ? How do I appear to others ? Do they walk by and think , " wow, she looks like she showered in the most fermented type of vinegar there is and it grew on her , or do they think " ....." she looked so happy and full of the inner joy of Christ that they had to rub their arms to see if a little bit rubbed off on them and wished they could have what I have ? Does my face tell others I know Jesus in my heart and not just know OF Him ? ...... In Ps. 37 :4a " Delight thyself also in the Lord ..... Am I full of 'delight' in the Lord ? .... Our inner life exposes what's displayed on the outside . Does the look on my face make my life in Christ seem contagious? by Miriam Bontrager 9-9-2009 | | |
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